Miss Anthropocene by Grimes is a sensual, dark enchantment that is good for you. What I mean by that is that if you look at darkness as the opposite of light and not as evil you will see that in it is balance and we have to face our darkest parts before we can let our own lights shine. For me, this album has helped me do this. Have you ever had a song just sweep you off your feet? Whether it’s a baseline or the voice hitting that right pitch that leaves chills along your spine in a good way? I have before. Music is how we connect emotionally to different parts of our lifetimes. Whether or not the artist who created a song intended for their song to influence a part of your life in either a positive or negative way is irrelevant–it happens.
There are songs that got me through high school, music that got me through some of the roughest times of my life as well as the best. When I got married, the song that Akon made that was originally by Michael Jackson, Hold My Hand, was on repeat and a fave of ours. So, naturally, it was painful for me to even hear when my ex had abandoned our marriage.
Before I share my thoughts on two songs from Grimes’ new Album, Miss Anthropocene, I want to dive quickly into the background of how I learned of the existance of this beautiful and talented artist. I’d never heard of Grimes before until Elon Musk started dating her. I’d barely even knew Elon was at the time–I’d just started following him and upon learning about all the things he’s been involved in and his stance on life in general, I’d written him an open letter on my old blog (that my ex took down because he had domain controls.)
I was still in Atlanta, unaware that my ex who had left the country was planning the worst for me. The first time I heard Grimes voice I was at the Candler-Park Marta station coming home from work. I was waiting on the eastbound Indian Creek train and it was cold as fuck. Elon had just shared Venus Fly so I played it.
I’d been following her ever since and one thing I’ve noticed is that many people love to hate her. As in pure hatred. I’ve seen quite a few negative articles about her, horrid conspiracy theories by extreme fans of Elon who think she has been holding him hostage or by TeslaQ who spread the rumor that Elon killed her back in 2018. Most of those tweets have been deleted, however they had the effect those spreading it wanted at the time.
I’d preordered the album, but my ex husband, who now has a baby by another woman, decided to try to hack my bank account. He’d successfully hacked my Uber (I even got the IP since Uber showed me a login with my username and PW from North Carolina). Anyway, the bank put a stop on my debit card and I am waiting on a new one. So my preorder was cancelled. Which is why I’m listening via YouTube.
What really inspired me to write my thoughts on Grimes today was an article I read by Jezebel. The article is written in the style of an eight grade school bully who is hellbent on making a person she doesn’t like look bad. Seriously–the article is that bad. My neighbor who is here with me now as I write was shocked, and I had to explain to her that many in the media have mocked and bullied Grimes via negative articles that bash her. So I am writing this in hope to balance that with something better.
I think my favorite song so far is New Gods. It’s soft vibrations enchant you and her voice, so ethereal and flowy completely captivates and entrances you. For a moment, it’s just me and Grimes as her voice takes us higher in search of New Gods. I think this song describes how I was in 2018 when I’d found out what my ex had planned for me. My own husband was planning to leave me stranded with no money, nothing, in a city I didn’t even know while he went off to Canada to be with his new girlfriend. I literally had nothing when I moved to Baton Rouge except for one suitcase filled with few clothes, jewelry making supplies and my mineral collection.
“Oh, you’re all I know. But What can I do if I can’t see?” This described who I was as a wife who’d just been abandoned. Everything seemed so unreal and I just couldn’t see. “Hands reaching out for new gods. You can’t give me what I want. But what do I know, oh, what do I know? I wanna let go, I, I, wanna, wanna, wanna let go,” (lyrics from here.) This described beautifully the helplessness I’d felt when the illusion I’d been subscribed to shattered, breaking me into pieces with it. I knew nothing. I reached out blindly for something to hold onto, and grasped onto air.
I was broken, falling and this song captures that moment vividly for me. “Only brand news gods can save me” To me this had to be myself. The only one who could save me was me. I had to make the choice to live–which was one of the hardest decisions to make. Healing requires facing the deepest parts of your hurt because in those dark places there are seeds of who you once were.
Another favorite on the album is Darkseid. The vibe of Darkseid is dark, exotic and hypnotic. It is a pulse of sensuality that moves through your body in its own way, taking you with it. It’s become my morning jam. The neighbor who lives in the apartment next to mine is always playing some of the coolest music so sometimes we get songs from one another. I am happy that I am turning them on to Grimes. My other neighbor came over for coffee and we were listening to Darkseid after New Gods. Her reaction to Pan coming on was priceless. Pan’s rap was completely unexpected, my neighbor said. The rest of her album is amazing but those two songs really resonated with me.
I want to also address the hate toward Grimes. Grimes is a very brilliant and unique artist and people don’t want to understand her or Elon Musk. Elon Musk and Grimes are so unique in that way and both are the light–the flame that moths are drawn to. Someone told me that if you are the light, the darkness will come. The haters are that darkness. They don’t understand, so they come, bash and try to bring you down to their levels. They want to dim your light, but can’t no matter how hard they try.
Grimes, if you are reading this, I will say the same thing I’ve said on Twitter to Elon: There are more people out there who love and respect you than not. I know that the cruel words of others who choose not to get to know you hurt. For if they truly knew you, they wouldn’t be so hateful. However, people who hate are miserable people. They are not fulfilling their purposes in life–if they were, they’d be truly happy. It’s an entirely different frequency that doesn’t even allow the low energy of hatred to permeate their thoughts. Your music came at a time of my life when I needed it the most.
Your voice soothed me during some painful moments of my life that I didn’t think I could face alone. Your influence was there as I had to take on the challenging task of reshaping my life. One of the hardest mentalities to learn is that we truly have the power to be what we want to be. Once we realize this, we can rebuild and reshape our lives. You and Hana helped me to appreciate my own power as I took it back. Thank you.